Am I Really A Winner?

Posted on 17 September, 2007 in Mr. Buttons, News Blurbs

I spent most of the day on Saturday attending the El Cajon Video and Film Festival. There were a number of entertaining films to watch. I am not going to say one bad thing about any of the films at the festival. I will only say that there were some I enjoyed more than others.

It was a strange day because we arrived early and were kind of rushed into the screening room. Later on we noticed people walking around with “Filmmaker” badges. I was little peeved I was never offered a name badge.

The upset feeling growing in my gut was soon relieved by the fact that people started approaching me and complimenting my on my film “Mr. Buttons“, which had screened earlier in the day at the festival. Despite the fact I didn’t have a badge, people still knew it was my film. How the hell did that happen? Oh, maybe by the fact I brought the doll from the film with me

Throughout the day I also kept hearing buzz that my film was going to win an award. I blew the talk off as hype and tried not to get excited about it. The festival came and went and that night at the awards ceremony they awarded me Best Horror Film in the Open Division for Mr. Buttons.

Everybody around me was excited. I took the stage and rambled off a few words that were filled with appreciation but also laced with a little of my own cocky attitude. I know the film is good, I have a ton of reviews saying the film is good. Festivals all over are picking up the film and people from Comic-Con are still asking me when they can buy their own version of the doll. Now the film has earned me my first award as a filmmaker.

I am taking this victory with a grain of salt. Yes, the award looks good on my filmmaker resume, but I’m trying not to let it go to my head. My family and friends keep telling me “You Won! You Won!”, but I find it hard to smile about it.

I know that deep down inside I can make a good film, and that if somebody actually gives me some money to make a film, I can concentrate more on directing rather than sound quality, lens flare and the hot light wedged between my legs while I’m laying on the ground balancing a camera on a stack of books for that perfect shot… I’m keeping my fingers crossed and wondering who else I need to prove myself to so I can get a real movie made

Tags: Awards, Film Festivals

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